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Faith and Values
Married to Commitment
book report by Donald Lee
Monday, December 05, 2011


"A book every church should have for marriage, singles ministries"

What’s an awesome thing I can say about “Married to Commitment,” the bestseller in the making that I produced with my friend and prayer partner Brigitte “Bre” Eaton?

This book is so powerful that every pastor should have a copy of it in his study. Every church should be using this book to help with its marriage and singles ministries. Rooted in the Bible, “Married to Commitment” shares wisdom by the volumes on how to build and maintain healthy, godly relationships.

The book ministers to married couples, singles and divorcees alike. There are enough nuggets of wisdom in this dynamic book from which all who read it can glean.

“Married to Commitment” also serves to help those caught up in abusive marriages or relationships discern whether the church they attend is equipped to minister to them or whether they should look elsewhere for help — such as another, more grounded church headed by fearless, Christ-centered, leadership.

What I mean is there are countless numbers of people who are in marriages who turn to their pastors or church leadership for help when they have major marital problems. But those particular pastors are not filled with (or led by) the Holy Spirit, thus they are not equipped to help them deal with their problems.

At such churches, or under such leadership, a “leader” in the church is still allowed to minister to the congregation even though his (or her) spouse has gone to that (senior) pastor with a legitimate concern about that leader’s character. C’mon, y’all. I’m talking about the married deacon who has a girlfriend on the side, yet he still holds a leadership position, when he should actually be sitting in the pews (and developing a repentant heart).

I’m talking about the church songstress who never has time to cater to her husband at home. I think y’all get the point now.

In so many churches, people cry out to their pastors (or church leadership) for help, for guidance. And all they can get, at best, is: “Just continue to pray. The Lord will work it out for you” or “Trust God” or “God can change him (or her).” Let me make this clear: I’m not saying this is the norm at every church. There are some great churches out there, and some awesome pastors who operate in divine wisdom, understanding and discernment, and they bear the fruit of the Spirit. So, to those pastors, I offer up great applause.

But, again, to the pastors (or church leadership) who are quick to tell people who cry out to them for help to just pray (but then you don’t have in place a system of helping them beyond just prayer), you’re taking the weasel way out of dealing with what needs to be dealt with.

Sure, people should be prayerful. At the same time, there are many instances where prayer, alone, won’t cut it. Some folk need to be dealt with. Some issues need to be met head on. “Married to Commitment” deals with this very real subject.

In the book, we share with our readers how to identify the right pastor, the right church, where they can get the help — the ministry — they need.

And if you’re divorced or single and you’d like to know how to avoid the mistakes of the past (as they relate to relationships), understand:

Successful, new marriages or relationships are birthed from honest, self-evaluations concerning what went wrong in previous ones.

Donald Lee is founder-pastor of nondenominational, multi-ethnic Kingdom Living Christian Center in Dallas. He co-authors “Married to Commitment,” (Xulon Press, $14.99) a book on relationships.

To obtain your copy of the book, visit or call toll-free (866) 909-2665. Lee can be contacted regarding prayer, counseling, this column, the book or for scheduling him for speaking engagements at He’s also available for free-lance reporting, copy editing and ghost writing for both aspiring and accomplished authors. Follow him on at @donaldj_lee.

To hear his sermons “LIVE,” call (760) 466-8123 (conference code: 279498#) at 10 a.m. (Central Standard Time) on Sundays and 7 p.m. on Thursdays.

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